Wednesday, 15 October 2008

HA! Racism in politics, never...

People vote for Obama because of his views and experience, not because he's black...


" The best argument about democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter."
- Churchill

Phil Urr?

I'm not going to write anything about the recent election, because we all knew what was going to happen. If you didn't, go sit at the kids table.

Here's a little Michael Z. Williamson listing what one has to believe to be a Democrat in America. As usual, Mad Mike is enrage and amusing.

Some favourites...

That all nations and governments are to be respected, but the 34 nations backing the US in Iraq are backward puppets

That a neighborhood watch is a good thing, unless that neighborhood is on the border where illegal immigrants flood through, in which case it's racist vigilanteism

That free trade is bad but open borders are good.

That the best way to make a statement is to wear a "Defeat Capitalism and Bush!" Tshirt when ordering coffee at Starbucks.

That Bush has a massive conspiracy to cover up Sept 11, but couldn’t hide Cheney’s hunting incident.

That poor black soldiers are being "exploited" by the military, and middle class white soldiers getting the same pay are "overpaid mercenaries."

Read 'em all...

Saturday, 4 October 2008

On Sleight of Hand Environmentalism

Global Warming and the Church of Gore

Let me preface this by saying that I do believe humanity is having something of a negative impact on our environment. I also believe that there are innumerable reasons, environmental, political, social, etc, that we should lessen our dependence on fossil fuels, especially foreign fuels. That being said, the Global Warming movement angries up my blood and itches up the old shooting finger. Want me to tell you why in the form of a wildly disjointed rant?

Of course you do.

Primarily, I dislike people who attempt to terrify me into agreeing with them. It’s not okay when Nancy Grace does it and it’s not okay when Al Gore does it. The use of terror and the threat of global destruction doesn’t really jive well with independent thought. It’s difficult to analyse a situation properly when someone is screaming that a “wrong” choice on your part will DESTROY THE WORLD AND SLAY MILLIONS OF THIRD WORLD BABIES. Ideologically, using scare tactics to make someone buy a Focus is morally equal to bombing a cafĂ© to make the Jews move out of your shitty desert neighbourhood. Ethically bankrupt, motherfucker, so lay off the bogeyman advertising. When it comes to fear, my Fight reflex is much more developed than my Flight one. Keep you head down, hippy.

I HATE seeing the suppression of dissent, and the Ecologues are doing this all day long and twice before breakfast. The strength of their argument comes, largely, from that fact that they present it as a monolithic Truth. It’s seen by many as an inarguable fact, as something that is agreed upon by the entire scientific community and everyone who has filled a beaker.

In actual fact, it isn’t.

There is a sizable portion of the scientific community that is raising concerns and hellfire over the Global Warming Scare. John Coleman, The founder of the Weather Network ( a meteorologist by trade) has gone on record claiming that Global Warming is nothing but a scam. He’s currently attempting to sue Al Gore over it. David Evans, the researcher who originally wrote the model that measures climate change, now says that the warming trend peaked in 2001 and is reversing. There are many more, and they are far from fanatical liars. They are scientists, and scientists are sceptics.
Additionally, there is evidence to suggest that other factors may be involved: NASA reports that both Mars and the Sun are increasing in temperature in a similar manner to Earth, but, y’know, it’s not like the Sun has anything to do with temperature… Imagine the conversation;

Reporter: Mr NASAmensch, you’re saying that Mars, the 4th planet from the Sun, is increasing in average temperature yearly, correct?
Herr NASAmensch: Why yes, that’s correct.
Reporter: And your best hypothesis is that this warming is caused partially by the Sun, which is likewise increasing in average temperature.
Herr NASAmensch: Exactamundo!
Reporter: So does that mean that the rise of temperature on Earth, the 3rd planet from the Sun, is at least partially caused by this phenomenon?
Herr NASAmensch: Oh No! That’s because of Styrofoam. Don’t worry, we got a failed politician on the case.

Does that sound reasonable? Seriously? Why aren’t these things getting explored, why aren’t they getting the same air-time as other theories? Why are we only exposed to one train of thought, and shouted down when we question it? Whaddayat, mob mentality? Eliminating independent thought through the suppression of dissenting voices, sure wha?

Fuck that with a knobbly stick

Further, I’m not a big fan of the politicisation and emotionalization of Science. It’s fucking SCIENCE! That means you get no rallies, no tears, no folk songs, no celebrity endorsements. You get methodical logic and dispassionate observance, nothing more. Science is Gray through and through, not Pink (see link to Eject Eject Eject). I, for one, am getting sick of being told that voting for a certain policy or party is “voting against the Earth”, I’m sick of waxy-eyed celebrity douchebags telling me what I should believe, I’m sick of hypothetical environmental sob-stories being trotted out whenever I question anything. If we need to know something about the atmosphere, I want to hear from a collection of Climatologists, not from Ben Affleck and the Indigo Girls. I want figures and facts, I want studies, I want the academic research to outweigh the propaganda and quarterly reports on the Profits of Doom. Most importantly, I want this thing to get back to being treated like every other scientific theory, and not like a sobbing, potato shaped housewife on the set of Oprah. No kid gloves, and no more hugs. Analyze, research in an antagonistic manner, vivisect that shit like the corpse of a talking ape. Treat it like theories are supposed to be treated.

Finally, it’s getting depressing to see how much the green movement is being hijacked by the neo-marxists and collectivists that live on the political fringe of every society. Look at the “solutions” being put forward by a lot of these groups; Government control of industry, higher taxation of individuals and businesses, social control over individual habits and lifestyles. That’s Marxism. Lets face it folks, Green is the New Red. If we don’t hand over the reins of power to a sprawling beaurocracy of the peoples collective, the seas will blot out our civilization, the sun will torch us like neglected bagels and pretty soon we’ll be slaving in underground poison mines for the Morlocks. Socialism, we’re told, is the planets only hope… Really? Socialism? The kind of government control that characterized the USSR and China? Maybe we should look at the environmental track records of command economies before we jump into this one. Go take a tour of Chernobyl, or a sail on the Caspian sea, or a cruise down the Yangtze river. They’re not exactly cover girls for Pristine Environment Weekly. Take my word for it, I’ve been to China; the toxic algae blooms are lovely this time of year, if you can see them through the smog.

In closing, I’d like to reiterate that I am no anti-environmentalist. Alternative energy sources are great, a more sustainable lifestyle is wonderful. Riding a bike to work, in addition to probably helping the environment, will result in terrorists getting less money as well as imposing a much-appreciated deficit of fat people. I’m on board. But, please think about why you’re doing these thing. Think about the evidence you are provided with, or lack thereof. Think about the methodology used in the research and dissemination of what you believe. Above all, Think. Don’t do these things because you were terrified into acceptance of the party line. Don’t do them because you’re developing a finely tuned obedience response.

Links? Links. Before you send me hate mail, read a couple.

To understand the Grey vs Pink reference…

John Coleman’s claim that global warming is a hoax.

Reason.Com, being, as always, pretty reasonable about the whole thing. Bjorn Lomborn weighs in.

Rising Temperature on Mars

Dissent. FROM A CLIMATE DENYING NAZIFACE EARTH RAPING climate researcher.,25197,24036736-7583,00.html

On Socialism and Environmental damage, for lolz

Friday, 3 October 2008

Blue Shirts?

I guess they ran out of Brown...

For those of you who didn't watch the video, it portrayed a number of middle school students, wearing blue Obama campaign t-shirts, singing songs of praise for the Obamessiah. Lyrics such as repeated cries of "Yes we can, we can" ,"We're gonna spread happiness, we're gonna spread freedom, Obama's gonna change it, Obama's gonna lead 'em", and " Sing for Courage, Sing for Unity". Notice the adults leading the song. Do you think these children spontaneously wrote and organized a paean of worship to a politician?

For further reference, let's take a look at the proposed Obama Youth Fraternity Movement

Again, for you lazy bastards, the video shows marching young men, wearing paramilitary clothing, chanting Obama campaign slogans, and claiming that Obama is the reason for any of their success. Not individual merit, not hard work, not an independent mind. Obama, the One, the Leader, from whom all good things flow.

Additionally, Obama proposes a nationwide youth movement, beholden to the President, who will work to make the country "great".


The politicization of the youth, like the centralization of the economy and the de-emphasis on individual responsibility and self-defense (all of which the Obama stands for, remember) never heralds anything good. See Mao's Red Guards, see the Young Communist Leagues in every Communist country, see the children marching under the Green Hamas banner in Palestine. This is collectivization, pure and simple. These chants and songs do not encourage independent thought. They don't allow room to question policy or edict. They allow only aquiescence and thought crimes.

Not for nothing did Adolf Hitler claim that if he could "Control the Textbooks, He could control the State!" He, and others like him, knew that if one could gain mental control of a country's youth, they would eventually control the country itself. When opinion is presented as fact, when political beliefs are grouped into "right" and "wrong", when chants are considered as valid as questions, it becomes very easy to mold a generation into what you want it to be.

Perhaps we should embrace it, perhaps we should help out. D'ya think the Obamaniacs will appreciate some slogans? I suggest "Work shall Set you Free" and "Strength Through Joy", but they may already have been taken.. The blue shirts are nice, but they look too slovenly for REAL CHANGE. How about uniforms? Hugo Boss could design a few, they'll be so snappy. Maybe a rank system too, but nothing too traditionally militaristic. Maybe rhombus boxes with diamonds, and grape leaves. Yeah... that'll be some realk Change.

While they're at it, they can annex Cuba for some Living Room, to grow soy and arugula.

Yeesh. At least the Hitlerjugend got a cool knife.

Thursday, 2 October 2008

Election time!

Time to jog your memory about why you hate politicians.

Here's a fun little way to pass the time. Alcohol.

Every time Harper graces the screen, and the words "Plastic" or "Robot" come into your head, you take a shot of Jager.

Every time Dion wobbles into the camera's eye, and the term "Flippity little Kermit-the-Frog Man" leaps unbidden into your brain, you take a shot of Tequila.

The caveat? You aren't allowed to rush out and vomit until Laytons folksy urban Stalinism starts making sense.

Don't blame me for any deaths.

EDIT: If any of you mention the Green party you have to leave the adults table and finish your homework.

Monday, 22 September 2008


It's hunting season so I'm busy depopulating the great wide open of ptasty ptarmigan. This, in addition to my already hectic schedule of hunting werewolves and impregnating valkyries, leaves me too damn lazy to post much. Here's some filler.

Are you peons tired of struggling to understand the depthless wisdom of the Obamessiah? Do you clench shut your webbed fingers in sorrowful frustration at your inability to grasp the preternatural knowledge of the One? Have no fear, peasants, the folks at Reason.TV have distributed a translation of the Dalai Bama's latest prophetic address. Rejoice.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Of Strawmen and Tinmen.

I’ve been thinking lately on how to properly explain the ideals and faults behind both major political ideologies; Liberalism and Conservatism (you don’t count, Anarchist, go back to your pipe bombs) and I’ve settled on something everyone’s familiar with.

Hollywood showtunes.

Remember the Wizard of Oz? Remember that lovable dumbshit Scarecrow? Remember that analytical prick of a Tinman? That’s exactly it, Left and Right wing easily characterized for the slack-jawed parishioners of the lobotomy box. Let me explain;

Like the Strawman, liberals tragically lack a brain, but they attempt to make up for it with their all-powerful bleeding heart. This is why they attract people who are ruled by empathy; therapists and hippies and community organizers. These people are really good at Caring, but really incompetent when it comes to Doing. Liberal movements and policies are motivated entirely by emotion. Every Tom, Dick and Jamaal that appeals to the victim mentality moves them to heartbreak. They weep at the perceived plight of every self-proclaimed “downtrodden and persecuted” group that rears its head and extends its tip jar. They have the right motivation, of course. Saving the world is a lofty goal. A liberal truly believes that Love and Peace and Hope and Change and other unqualified inspirational words can save the world. If you just FEEL strongly enough about something, you can make it happen. Nothing else is really necessary; emotion trumps practicality every day in lib-land They can’t help it. They’re squishy and warm on the inside; chest and skull.

And their policy reflects it. It doesn’t take much analysis to realize that programs such as Affirmative Action, Socialized Medicine, Welfare, etc. are motivated by real caring, but it also doesn’t take long for one to watch these same programs go tits-up into a pile of corruption, fiscal waste, and irrelevance. After the love fest wears off, and libs realize that their plan isn’t working, they panic, wrap themselves up in the comfy warm arms of the Nanny state, and let Big Government “solve” the problem by throwing other people’s money at it. We know how that works out. COUGH Indian reserves? COUGH. Lovey-dovey sentiments are all well and good, libtards, but sometimes you need a cold, remote strategy to carry those sentiments out properly. Psycho-therapy and Group Hugs and Folk Songs do not lend themselves to real world problems like business models and budgets, that’s why you fail.

“Hurr, Hurr. Libs are stupid and cons are smart, eh Grant? Guess we win.”

Not quite, fucker, and I’m on your side. Keep reading.

Conservative political philosophy, I doubt anyone would disagree, tends to attract hard-working, intelligent, logical people. Remote, heartless ones. The ruling ethos among conservatives is one of self-reliance, self-determination, and logic. Does this make it superiour? Yes… but we’re really not good at the emotional stuff. We don’t actually care in the same way as liberals; our empathy is more on the far-off philosophical plane, and it is not generous to those who are deemed unworthy. We’re the Tinman, machinelike in our work ethic and reason, yet hard and cold and kind of empty on the inside. Conservatives can balance a budget, run an efficient organization, develop a well-nigh unbeatable strategy, but we won’t love our fellow man unconditionally or be loved back. We are motivated by personal advancement; we feel more strongly about efficiency and results than we do about rallies and … feelings…

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a bit of a Social Darwinist, and I think a lot of conservatives would agree with me. I believe that struggle and competition is what makes a country and it’s people great. It’s good for the economy, and it’s good for the character of the individual. I believe that you should be responsible for yourself, your family, and no one else. Strong is better than weak, fast is better than slow, smart is better than stupid. Always. Accordingly, I believe that if you are too stupid, lazy, and wilfully ignorant to find a way to be useful, then that’s you’re fault. I shouldn’t have to pay for your welfare while you squat in the ghetto shooting out multitudes of half-related bastards and sucking down taxpayer cash. You are an evolutionary dead end. You are vestigial humanity. I would gladly cut your welfare, and send my children to a nice private school while you starve waiting for “da gummint” to do everything for you. Afterwards, I’ll probably sit around counting my money and oiling my guns and saying things like “Har Har Harrrr.” Seriously.

BUT, even though I, and other cons, believe in the superiority of self-reliance and hard work, we have to admit that this type of harsh worldview doesn’t always work, and it’s a mite dickish. It’s wonderful to see a man pull himself up by his bootstraps, but when the bastards so poor he doesn’t even have boots, we might need to empathize a little. Conservatives put so much value in the mind that we shun anything to do with the heart, which makes it difficult (sometimes impossible) to inspire any sort of emotion among people. This is why WE fail.

“Dude”, you may now be saying, “aren’t these just broad generalizations about philosophies held by millions of individuals? Aren’t you ignoring the myriad interpretations people can have of their own political beliefs?”

“Yes, that’s a good point,” I’d answer, “but shut the fuck up while I’m talking, you scabrous shitweasel. If you want to voice an opinion, get your own website. Besides, have you met The Internet? It’s full of stupid. Chock Full. We need to speak simply or the savages will go back to flinging poop at each other.”

Liberals, you need to stop being that chick who adopts every cutesy little stray she finds, only to gallivant off across Wopfuckistan on a spirit quest while the poor little beasties locked in your apartment maul each other out of starvation. Have a better plan, have some personal responsibility. It’ll pay off.

Conservatives, you need to stop being that chode who jabbers on his bluetooth about his killer stock portfolio while your Miata drenches the poor fuckers waiting for the bus. Working for own benefit is fine, unnecessarily being a dick is not. And stop quoting Ayn Rand at people; sure she was right, but she was also kind of a bitch. Find a nicer way to spread your philosophy. Encourage the huddling masses, maybe add a little financial help to those really in need. It’ll work out.

Neither of these philosophies is truly wrong, but both definitely need work. Take heed. A heart needs to be checked by a mind, a mind needs to be augmented by a heart. Remember that when you vote.

And watch out for flying monkeys. That shit ain’t right.